Ballet-related no-fly-zones

Oh man, my little boy totally, like, leapt from the ceiling the other day and crash-landed on my hip bone with his head.
Which was fine, he wasn’t hurt at all and I only thought I was going to die of pain for about two seconds and then completely forgot about it until about 24 hours later when I was getting dressed for ballet and discovered this giant bruise, exactly under the leg elastic of my leotard.
Not cool, Son. Not cool.
That mess hurts.
Anyway, one thing that is awesome about babies is that they totally comprehend and comply with charts and graphs!
So I made this chart, titled: Ballet-Related Places To Steer Away From While Falling At Mama From Great Heights, Especially When Head First.
I’ll just post this up high somewhere for him to quick-reference, pre-launch.


I included the face, even though I don’t use it very much in ballet class. But, you know, it’s my face.
Another thing that is awesome about babies, though, is that at some point they start to get the concept of kisses, and will grab you and come at you with a big open mouth if they think you are hurt. Which is comforting and terrifying and hilarious.
I guess according to this chart he should really aim for my arms and upper-to-mid torso.
Wait, this is a terrible idea, never mind.

About adultbeginner

Had my first ballet class Ever at the advanced age of thirty-two. Yikes.
This entry was posted in ce n'est pas une mom blog, the Body and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Ballet-related no-fly-zones

  1. kitteacat says:

    My best friend’s toddler learned kisses from the family dog . . . which is unfortunate, as now when attempting to kiss you she licks you right on the mouth. Here’s hoping she grows out of it?? =)

  2. Janet says:

    I think landing on mom from any height should be avoided. Hope the giant bruise is better.
    I whacked my thigh at work really hard a number of years ago; that took months to heal.

  3. d1a2n3e4 says:

    I laughed at loud when reading this! (“not the face! not the face!”) I can so relate, though I my own toddlers were not quite as rambunctious as to fall on me from on high; I grew up with two younger brothers. :p Yep, those bruises on bony parts are pretty painful; but the colours they develop as they heal can be very interesting.
    Take care.

  4. Anony mouse says:

    How about no kicking (while changing diapers) or head butting (while playing around) the boob area.
    I can’t be the only only stunned threathless after one of these high impact activities.
    By the way I don’t have children so I don’t understand how I know this.

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