I’ll take aloof.

I brought my little boy in to meet my ballet teacher the other day.
Stopped by the studio at the end of one of his classes, waved from the door during reverénce and then turnt the boy loose once the floor cleared.
Verdict was,
classmates: Lookatthosefatbabylegslemmeholdhimimmediately!
Smirnoff: Good. He’s very steady on his feet. That is good.
Lé Assistant: He’s very much like you; he’s aloof.
Which I thought was funny, the aloof part.
I mean, I’d go with Busy for him (he had found some pens on the floor that definitely needed to be picked up and marched over to the trashcan past mama playing trashcan defense) and Shy Trying To Pass As Misanthropic for me, but hell, I’ll take aloof.
And that’s the funny part, as soon as I heard myself think “hell, I’ll take aloof” I had a flashback to my twelve-year-old self who, if given the chance to declare a public identifier, would have 100% chosen the label of Shy Not Stuck-Up.
Which is bizarre to me now, because 1. I don’t even think they look the same anymore and 2. aloof is great, fits right in with my passing-as-misanthrope thing. Twelve-year-old me could’ve used some of that.
Maybe Past Me was worried that people like to test confidence? And knew I couldn’t maintain aloof under even the mildest scrutiny, and that’s all you get in middle school is scrutiny?
Maybe that’s one of the reasons I like ballet class, it commands you make the shapes of aloofness with your body.
Maybe at a more advanced level you might be asked to express what’s going on on the inside, but at least here, now, in my classes, I get to leave the truth out of it.

About adultbeginner

Had my first ballet class Ever at the advanced age of thirty-two. Yikes.
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6 Responses to I’ll take aloof.

  1. Barbara says:

    Yes I feel the same way. I feel shy and not able to make conversation easily yet people always judge me as being ALOOF. I do not find most people interesting anyway so it is fine if we do not strike up a conversation. Maybe your son did not find them interesting.

    • Oh but I hope he will, maybe when he’s less busy. I’d been kind of hoping he and Smirnoff would, like, shake hands and have a Moment Of Recognition or something, but that’s just me being ridiculous, the boy’s only one and a half.

  2. Physio Fit says:

    I love reading your blog, you have amazing insights. “Shapes of aloofness”… brilliant. This topic became a point of discussion with my husband as we we had seen some contemporary dance last night (I live in Sydney) and did a bit of ‘compare and contrast’ between classical and contemporary.

  3. Basia says:

    Awesome writing!
    I love the shapes of aloofness too… I’ll work that in – might do wonders for me who knows??
    Its that bit between caring and not caring how it’s going to turn out…

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