Somebody start teaching this class so I can take it.

Was in spin class today, and thought of Something Brilliant.
This class I want to take-
Ok it was like this: Get Lucky came on, and usually that song just makes me feel disappointed with Present Daft Punk and all yearny for Daft Punk Circa 2005, but this time, suddenly, I wanted to jump off my bike and dance-
And not just any dance-
Throwback Dance.
Or (Not)Cool Dance.
Or Hipster Ironical Dance?
I don’t know, the genre needs a name, but you know, dance moves that look dorky on purpose and thereby can be used to make fun of one’s self and/or a situation.
Like I wanted to start with that one move where you put one hand behind your head and wave your elbow while with the other hand you hold your ankle and wave your knee and you look like a total dumbass, and then do the Running Man and then top it off with a couple side-to-side Hammer U Can’t Touch This shuffles.
And then it was all over in my mind, Get Lucky was still playing and we were climbing the hill on a seven resistance and keeping our rpms up or whatever but my mind was totally not in the spin room anymore, all I could think about was how much I want to take a class in Big Stupid 90’s Dance Moves so I could bust them out in any situation where I need to say, “I am doing a dorky dance on purpose (but I look damn good doing it)”
That would be key, Gentle Reader, the looking good part. This is why it should be a class and not just me, alone and ridiculous, researching dance moves on the youtubes.
They say that if there’s something you want that doesn’t exist in the world, you must create it, so I should probably shut up and open a class, but the problem is I don’t actually know any of these dances. I mean, The Adult Beginner can fake a Hammer as well as the next fool, but let’s get real here, the Hammer has limited applications.
So I’m gonna be on the look out for some kind of class like this and probably keep on daydreaming about it during spin.
Retro hip-hop maybe? Is that a class?
Meanwhile, Gentle Reader, if this is your secret talent, please start teaching Big Stupid 90’s Dance Class and make it become a worldwide sensation so that even my local gym opens a class and I can take it and feel good that I’ve helped make the world a more beautiful place.
Peace Out.

About adultbeginner

Had my first ballet class Ever at the advanced age of thirty-two. Yikes.
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7 Responses to Somebody start teaching this class so I can take it.

  1. It’s so nice to see that despite being a professional, mother, wife and ballerina you’re also worried about making the world a better place.
    Oh no, that reminds me of a Michael Jackson song also from the 90s, isn’t it so?? And it’s a sticky one… better listen to some music now, or I’ll be in the 90s for days!!

  2. guyenne says:

    I thought step aerobics and jazzercise type classes were the place for those moves. At least they were when my mom took those classes in the 80s.

    • Yeah but step aerobics and jazzercise were never actually cool.
      I mean, I guess they were well-attended and therefor popular in a work-out context, but I’m guessing your ma never would’ve busted out her step routines on her own, outside the gym, or out for a ladies night?
      Not much carry-over from jazzercise to the club.
      I’m looking for a class full of moves that had a pop culture moment, but are now hilariously passé.

  3. kaija24 says:

    Something like this?

    I’d totally sign up to take it with you! :)

  4. RO says:

    There must be something out there like this, right???

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