Feeling the floor. It’s not just for babies.

My aunt sent me an Etsy gift certificate for Christmas,
which I thought was very hip of her, I mean who even knew you could do that? (Everyone. Everyone knew you could do that)
It wasn’t actually for me, it was for me to get something for her favorite grand-nephew. Or second cousin. Or whatever the hell the relationship is between a person’s aunt and son.
So I was poking around on Etsy, and here is the curse of being a pattern maker while poking around on Etsy: half of what I see I’m like, “oh wow that is ugly. Somebody made that? Jeez why bother. That poor kid modeling that thing.” And then the other half I’m like, “Oh that’s great I will totally make that!” And then of course I never do. But I don’t buy it either. So I just get nothing. It’s a problem, you guys.
Except shoes. I know I’m not going to make shoes, so I grant myself permission to buy them.
The boy currently has one pair of red sneakers with Velcro closures, and he freaking loves those shoes.
They are like The Red Shoes. He must wear them. Must.
In fact, “shoes” is the first word that I know for sure he understands. He can’t say it, but if I tell him, “Go get your shoes,” he’ll run over to the closet where the shoes are and pat the door while calling “Uh! Uh!” which is his all purpose word for, “Action must be applied to this situation!” Or in this specific case, “The shoes are here! Quick! Do that thing where the door opens!”
Bath, banana, come here, mamma, dada, these are all words that are nice and sometimes get attention paid, but shoes, man, he doesn’t mess around with the word shoes.
Incidentally we keep the red shoes closed up in the closet because if they are out in the open he will find them and happily march around the house carrying them and singing, until I realize he’s only carrying one, and the other one has disappeared, and now we can’t leave the house because he’s only got the one shoe and he can’t tell me where the other one is.
I’m pretty sure he’s the most hilarious baby ever.
The other day when I finally found the missing shoe in my boot-
which I’d already checked once by turning the boot upside down, but the little shoe was wedged so deep in there that I didn’t find it until I checked a second time and actually reached inside the boot-
it occurred to me that this would make a brilliant tv series. Where Is Your Other Shoe. It could run for ever, new hiding place each week. The scripts just write themselves. Brilliant right? I knowwwwwwwww.
So I’m looking on the ol’ Etsy, and I suddenly realize that all the descriptions of toddler shoes sound exactly like descriptions of ballet slippers. There’s all this talk about flexible soles, breathable materials, strengthening and developing the feet, and most dance-like of all: a huge emphasis on the importance of feeling the floor.
I ended up using my gift certificate on a pair of elk-leather toddler moccasins hand made under the sequoias of Northern California because who can resist that description, and first thing I did when they arrived, other than cheer with delight at the hilariousness of tiny moccasins, was get out a permanent marker and write the letter R on the sole of one of them, so I’ll never mix them up and they’ll conform to the boy’s feet. Just like ballet slippers.

About adultbeginner

Had my first ballet class Ever at the advanced age of thirty-two. Yikes.
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9 Responses to Feeling the floor. It’s not just for babies.

  1. Diane says:

    What a fun post! Thank you!
    What is it with little kids and shoes?
    They almost all seem to adore them, carry them around, cuddle them. :)
    Perhaps because little kids ARE so close to the floor, shoes are one of the things which loom large on their horizon?

    • Sometimes I think he recognizes that shoes equal outside equals freedom, and that’s why he loves them, but then I see him tugging one of his dad’s big shoes around by the shoelace like it a pull toy.
      I guess shoes are just awesome?

  2. RO says:

    Hahaha I laughed so hard! Your kid sounds awesome.
    Who knew the resemblance between kiddy shoes and ballet slippers would be so big??

  3. Katy says:

    I’d absolutely watch ‘Where Is Your Other Shoe’ – on the edge of my seat…and tweet about it relentlessly.

    We went through a long phase of wearing wellies on the wrong feet, and wellies with every outfit. I think the best one was ladybird wellies on the wrong feet under a Darth Vader costume. He will never reach such sartorial heights again.

  4. Neisha Bella says:

    Lol this made me laugh so hard!

  5. Jenny says:

    Oh my gosh, I am still laughing. It reminded me of my son who used to constantly lose one shoe or one sock. Once he lost a bathrobe and we never found it. The family is still wondering where it could have gone! When we moved out of our first home, I thought it would turn up – but it didn’t…

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