Gentle Reader, I was really excited about trying this pair of tights, because they have “cool cotton comfort” according to the package, and it has been very hot lately and I was all excited about investigating this alleged cool comfort.
But I opened the package and pulled out the tights and saw the elastic had that particular ruffly look that can only mean one Rilly Bad thing and I thought ‘Oh hell no, the elastic can not be dead on my new tights’ and gave the waistband a tug and sure enough heard that crackle sound of old dried-out elastic breaking apart.
Here’s a picture.
I had thought that the packaging was charmingly retro, but now I’m thinking it’s just plain old.
Maybe hard to see in the photo, but in addition to the elastic being dead the tights are also heavily faded at the waist and two other places along the leg where they were folded in the package and apparently displayed in a sunny window on the surface of Mercury for twenty years until they ended up in the discount bin for some idiot to buy.
Hi that’s me.
So caveat emptor, you guys.
Open up those discount tights and check before you buy them.
Don’t do like the Adult Beginner and just assume they’re on sale because they’re last season’s model or whatever naive stupidness I was thinking.
Wish I knew.
Cool Cotton Comfort you guys, it was gonna be awesome.
Stats are 52% cotton 38% nylon 10% Lycra spandex