What it’s like to be back

What’s it like to come back to ballet after a long absence and a baby?
It’s like this:
I look in the mirror before pliés and see that my waist is thicker, and I think what a relief it is to have the best free-pass Evar!
Seriously,
It is very free-ing to have recently had a baby.
Self criticism can take a long walk off a short pier right now as far as I’m concerned, I’m just glad to be here, pink tights thick waist and all.
Another thing: my shoulders and/or neck are always achy, tight, stiff, or jacked up in some way nowadays. Because of all the carrying The Baby around and feeding The Baby. Gets the shoulders all rolled in.
Incidentally mom-types on line have all these Secret Codes for things! Whenever I look things up I find references to “bf-ing”, which confused me for the first hundred or so times until I realized all these mom types were talking about breast-feeding, not boy-friending.
Y u gotta be all mysterious and abbreviated like that, Mom Types? Omg!
Anyway, so rolling open the shoulders and opening across the chest is a new major part of ballet class.
Another new thing:
Pirouettes seem slightly easier?
Like, either my center of gravity is in a different place or maybe I just don’t get all freaked out about them anymore?
Ha ha, Pirouettes. You have no power over me!
And a bummer:
The jumps we do at the end of class, they’re a series of jumps in place from first and second and fifth, and switching feet and some tours en l’air and some eschappés in there,
Well, I used to really enjoy those.
At the end of class, too tired for precision or grace, I could always summon up some brute strength and really go for it with those jumps and end class feeling powerful, but right now they kinda make me feel like I need to pee. Don’t think my pelvic floor is ready for so much jumping just yet. Another good reason to keep doing those damned kegel exercises, and that’s all that needs to be said about that.
“Tighten your tummy, My Dear!” has become the new “Chin Up!”
And what else does Smirnoff say?
Here’s what he says:
“My Dear! It is very good that you did not become moon-faced!”
Truth.