The usually reticent Adult Beginner is thrust into the public eye, belly first.

Funny thing about being pregnant-
And I’m talking the big end of pregnant, not the early just little bit pregnant part-
Is that Everybody Can Tell.
I fly home solo from New York? Man in seat beside me tells me how to find a good doctor.
I’m like, ‘Dude. I am wearing headphones. Big ones too, like dj big, no petite earbuds here. And I’m reading a book. And my tv is on. There are no more polite signals for me to send you that I don’t want to chat. Also, have you never flown before? Do you not understand that this is Basic Airplane Etiquette? We maybe say hello when we sit down and then we Do Not Speak for five hours. Also, seriously? I’m this big and you think I haven’t got a doctor yet? As if!’
But never mind all that because he can see I’m in the family way and he wants to talk about it.
Mr. Adult Beginner flies home solo? Nobody bothers him because Nobody Knows.
Reminds me of this thing I read somewhere about how this is one of the difficulties severely overweight people face: their Problem is out there for everyone to see, whereas people with other problems mostly get to keep their problems private.
I’m a little bit terrified to go into any baby-supply store because I’m such an easy mark right now. Even wandering just around ABC Home store, clerk takes one look at me and points to the baby department.
On the other hand, cocktail parties have become way easier.
I never worry anymore about running out of cocktail chat, even with strangers.
And luckily for them no strangers have gone in for the belly-pat.
‘Cause I am ready.
To karate chop their Face!
Anyway, was just thinking about the public-ness of pregnancy while paying for groceries. And chatting with the cashier about when am I due.
Thinking about how I’ve stood in that same line, in fifth, or doing relevés, or wearing a leotard and mini, or with convertible tights all rolled up around my calves, obviously straight outta ballet class where I pretended to be a ballerina for an hour and fifteen, and nobody cares! But start showing a little and everyone’s your new BFF.
It’s neat that humanity becomes excited and welcoming around pregnant ladies.
Except for when it’s annoying.
But it’s still pretty neat.
But it’s still kinda annoying.
But it’s neat.


About adultbeginner

Had my first ballet class Ever at the advanced age of thirty-two. Yikes.
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6 Responses to The usually reticent Adult Beginner is thrust into the public eye, belly first.

  1. Janet says:

    It is hard to know if guy’s wife is expecting. At work we have had the occasional baby shower for a father-to-be. Most of these guys were totally surprised, but they had told us that their wife was pregnant.

    As for being expectant in public. It is hard to miss the obvious, particularly if the tummy is the only round part. I never touch – only did that once AFTER asking permission from a co-worker.

    Compliments; congratulations – I am not sure that those should cause offense if they are only two or three words. Giving you a seat? I would be shocked if anyone was offended by that. Airplanes? I have not been on one in years. The screaming kid factor is one reason I don’t fly.

  2. I think having anything at all noticeably different about you will get attention. This reminds me that I really should write a blog post about how I *hate hate hate* people asking about and touching me when I am wearing wrist braces in public. NO TOUCHY!

  3. Joyce says:

    God I once was with a pregnant friend and someone started about her *whisper* perineum.

  4. Ok well it happened. At the gym. Someone went in for the tummy-touch. I was like, “Girl, please. I came here to work out, not get felt-up by a stranger. You wanna keep that hand you best to step!”

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