Adult Beginner, where have you been?

Gentle Reader, you may have noticed that I’ve been away from the blog lately, and I’m not going to apologize because suck it that’s why,
But if you’re interested, here’s what I’ve been up to:
December
Started taking pre-natal vitamins and went off the birth control. Figured I’d have another six months or so before anything interesting happened with that particular project. Meanwhile, went to see the NYCB’s Nutcracker on the Big Screen.
January
Bam! Got pregnant. Didnt know it yet. Had this conversation in class, which is kind of funny timing now that I think about it.
February
Began to suspect something was up, told Mr. Adult Beginner about suspicions, he bought a test, I took test, confirmed something was indeed up, was like, “Holy Crap!!! What???!!! Already???? For fucks sake!!!!” Took test second time, same results.
Once back when I was about twenty or so, my grown-up friend from New Zealand had told me that all you have to do to get pregnant is have, “six ivery die foh ah munth!” which sounded like a fun project although she assured me that it would be hard work and that the would be some days where I would not want to have “six”, which is a completely ridiculous idea when you are twenty or so. Always figured I’d try that method at some point. But no! Not necessary!
Did a double pirouette.
March
Suddenly became very tired all the time. Like, Mr. Adult Beginner describes as Supernaturally Tired. Had that feeling in ballet class I haven’t felt since I was just starting, where you’re dangling from the barre and seriously wondering if you’re gonna make it through class. Feeling lucky though, no morning sickness at all.
Not showing yet. Smirnoff actually turned to me in class one day and said, “My Dear, you have lost weight.” and I was like, ‘(in head) Joke’s on you, Old Man! I’m two-and-a-half months pregnant!’
Met with midwives. Just a shout-out to mid-wife care: even if you’re not going the whole home-birth route like I am, they do Great pre-natal. I had three appointments including nutritional counseling before all the pregnant lady books I’ve been reading said I’d have my very first doctor’s apointment.
Had a CVS in March, which you can learn more about on The Googles if you want, but basically it’s a test similar to an amniocentesis, with the advantage being you can have the test much earlier in the pregnancy than an amniocentesis. It tests for Downs Syndrome and other genetic things. Which made March a very rough month: it was all Would the test hurt? What about the risk of miscarriage associated with the test? What about the results?
It was a total month of holding breath, before the test and after, during the two weeks it takes to get the results back, which lemme tell you, is the two longest weeks ever. I decided that what was really taking so long was they took my sample, grew An Entire Person, and then asked that person, “hey, do you have any genetic mutations?”
This was also a very antisocial month: people would ask what we were up to, and Mr. Adult Beginner and I would be like, “uh….(don’t say pregnant don’t say pregnant) …nothing?” Also, I got very tired of making fake cocktails at parties or lying about why I wasn’t holding a glass of wine at all times.
I took two weeks off ballet.
April
Got great results from the CVS.
Huge huge huge sigh of relief, but it also meant that The Shit Just Got Real.
Started telling people and thinking about how to tell Smirnoff.
Which is a whole ‘nother story.

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