Saw the NYCB Nutcracker on the Big Screen the other day.
Simulcast, ya know.
Here’s some random thoughts:
The party. Is so boring. Seriously, that has got to be the worst party ever, I mean think about if you were a guest at this party: you have to bring a wrapped gift, and that’s, like, already a certain level of Party Anxiety- how much to spend: too much and look like a show off? Too little and look cheap?
No One Offers You Anything To Drink, and the kids are running rough-shod over the whole party, breaking toys, pulling hair, fighting, not a one of those Precious Angels gets disciplined, not even a Time Out. Also, all the kids are the same age. No babies, no sullen pre-teens. Are these Clara and Fritz’s classmates? Are the parents not actually friends?
And not just this version, it’s always a bad party. Seen versions where extra business is added in, like someone arrives tipsy, someone is slutty, someone has got funny dance moves, it doesn’t help.
Not sure if there’s any way to better edit this party, because it establishes stuff, but it’s for sure a lame-ass way to start the show. Twenty percent of my friends watching it with me fell asleep for this scene.
Mr Adult Beginner leaned over and whispered, “No death is good enough for Fritz.” You know, like when you are watching a movie and there’s a Bad Guy who is so bad that you worry they won’t kill him off in a way that satisfies?
Why do the kids give a damn about a nutcracker after they’ve seen Drosselmyer’s clockwork dancing dolls?
That would be a really fun part to do, I bet. The mechanical ballerina. All robotic yet aiming toward graceful. If I were to pick a character to learn, it would be that.
Interview with some guy during intermission, he explains that Mr. B, as in Balanchine, said that “the tree is the ballerina of Act I”. And I was like, really? ‘Cause if so, you have totally ruined your ballerinas entrance. I mean, Clara encounters full scale mice and soldiers before the tree gets big, which totally ruins the illusion of Clara getting small.
Q.What is a sugar plum?
A. A gross dessert.
This is the first time the Adult Beginner has had any clue who the people dancing were. And I got all my information from YouTube!
Megan Fairchild, the Sugar Plum Fairy, I recognize from that very sweet little movie about pointe shoes, you know, the one where Wendy Whelan helps her get a better fit. Ashley Bouder, Dew Drop, I recognize from that Discount Dance Supply ad with Twitch Boss. Well, ok, and from twitter. And from everywhere. How does one pronounce her name anyway? Boo-der? Bow-der? Boo-dair? Anyone? Tyler Peck I recognize from a tampon ad. No seriously.
Mr. Adult Beginner: what the hell is a mirliton?!
AB: No fucking idea! Candy? Marzipan? Somebody in this show is marzipan. Maybe it’s marzipan. What’s the costume supposed to be, a carousel? Sometimes they are dressed like shepherdesses? Maybe it’s a shepherdess?
Asked twitter later, turns out a mirliton is a toy instrument like a kazoo.
If you google mirliton you also get a lot of squash, especially chayote. So, that’s weird.
Omg Kelly Ripa. Oh girl, do not put a tutu on and take class with the company. Oh, there she goes. I can’t watch. Tell me when it’s over.
Ok, costume designers, I have major beef with you: are you Trying to perpetuate that old stereotype about male dancers? For fucks sake stop putting the men in pink!
Nutcracker turns into a human? Bam! Pink suit. All the little boys who come out from under Mama Ginger’s skirt? Bam! Pink costumes. Granted those were actually girls, but it’s a boy role! Why so much pretty pink? And the Candy Cane. Having to be interviewed all wrapped up in pretty pink and pastel green satin ribbons. Feel for you, man. Why not red? Huh, Karinska? Last candy cane I had was red and white.
An amazing moment in the Sugar Plum Fairy and Sugar Plum Man’s pas de deux: she was on one leg in an arabesque en pointe, and he took her hand and pulled her and she slid along the floor on her pointe! On one leg! Slid! Dudes, never seen such a thing, tried to describe it to Smirnoff and lé Assistant, both baffled.
The hard shell inside of Mama Ginger’s skirt is covered in lipstick kisses. Grossgrossgross.
After the movie, having some thai, talking about the show: “which one was Fritz? Oh, the douchey kid.”