So, Monday morning, roll up in to work, boss asks, “do anything fun this weekend?”
And I’m like, “yeah! Totally went to see the Scottish Ballet!”
Boss says, “Neat, what’d they dance?”
I’m all, “um, it was two contemporary pieces?”
And he’s like, “Huh. You fall asleep?”
And I was like, “Yes!!! How did you- Omygawd I feel so bad!!!! It was so beautiful! But, I just- omygawd what is wrong with me?!!!”
And he’s like, “Girl, please. When I lived in New York I’d go see the New York City Ballet and fall asleep. Most gorgeous ballet in the whole world, didn’t matter. If it’s just beautiful shapes with no story to follow, I’mma be out.”
Gentle Reader, I seriously seriously for reals considered not telling you about the falling asleep part. But if I can’t be honest on this blog, under my nom de poulet, where’m I ever gonna be honest.
Stupid thing is, I really enjoyed it! Right up until the 5th song of Song of the Earth totally did me in.
Ok so here’s what I did see:
First up, first half of Kings 2 Ends. Modern music. Began with a long stretch of silence, which, you know, really means the dance is set to a soundtrack of audience coughing. Seriously. Why do people always come down with tuberculosis during these quiet moments?
What I loved best about this piece was the women’s costumes. Yumiko.
Bare feet and legs, black leotards with deep plunging décolletage and illusion neckline and sheer lingerie-ish overlapping panels along the obliques, hair in a high bun showcasing these tiaras just wow. Just wow. The ladies were so strong and modern and fiercesome, it was just- how many times can I say gorgeous before WordPress shuts me down?
Men’s costumes, on the other hand, were a long-pants version of the ladies, minus the tiara, and, you know, I just feel like I could’ve gone my entire life perfectly content without using the words Deep Plunging Décolletage, Illusion Neckline, Sheer, or Lingerie-ish to describe anything a man wears.
I mean, like, you wanna show skin, what’s wrong with shirtless?
The Adult Beginner could get on board with shirtless.
Costumes aside, really like seeing the stage filled with men. Like, it seems The Scottish Ballet has a lot of men, and they’re just as important as the ladies, and I really liked that, although anytime a female dancer moved across the stage my mind was just blown all over again at How Gorgeous.
Kept trying to find a narrative.
Or an overall feeling.
Next up, second half of Kings 2 Ends. Ladies have taken off their tiaras and put on- if it’s even possible- Even More Gorgeous short red chiffon dresses with corsets and flippy bubble hems. And the men have red chiffon button-down shirts, so I’m less distracted by their deep-V unitards.
The music is Motzart and the tone is humorous? I think?
The women are doing a lot of this sort of staccato traveling around the men, and I keep trying to read a narrative into it, like, oh, this is about how busy and bustling women are nowadays? They never slow down? And the men are left to the wayside, watching and hoping to catch their attention?
But then the next shapes wouldn’t back up that idea, so I’d try for a new idea, and then another one…
Lol-ed at one point, dude did a really funny lift by just bending down, poking his head between girl’s legs, and then stood up so she was, like, lifted by the back of his neck. It was totally hilarious, Gentle Reader! Only heard a few other titters from the audience though, so then I was like, ‘oh noes, that was not meant to be funny, how gauche of me.’
Then there was a very long intermission with lots of tape-getting-ripped-up noise from behind the curtain, flooring getting removed or something, and then Song of the Earth!
Where I was like, finally! The men look fantastic! Snug black t-shirts and light colored tights, gawd, how hard is that?! Tights were at their natural waist, which looks high waisted on a modern guy, which gave the whole look a kind of athletic vintage feel. Loved it.
And the ladies in these beautiful simple tunics were so silent en pointe! Amazing. No hard knocking. Was telling a friend about it later, a friend who is very familiar with the Dance Center at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, and she was like, “really?! That’s amazing. That floor is designed to project sound!”
This piece was set to Mahler, which involved some operatic singing in German, and I think I just wore myself out so much trying to understand how the music related to the movement, and what the dance was trying to say, and who the characters were that my brain just finally shut down and next thing I knew the curtain was coming down and my eyelids were flying up and I was struck with the horror of what I had just done.
Fell asleep at the ballet.
This was my first contemporary, non-full-length non-story-ballet viewing experience, so I’m assuming that more sophisticated viewers, (which is just about every one else, man woman child or puppy-dog, on the entire planet at this point) should go see it and let me know if the women were fierce, if the men were strong, if you loved the costumes, if I missed the best part, if there was a theme I missed, all that, I’m super curious.