So, I’m putting my sneakers on after class, and Smirnoff says, “Good, those are good shoes, those shoes have support. My Dear, you must always wear shoes at home, never go with out shoes, even when you are just working around the house.”
And I’m like, “ok!”
But in my head I’m like, ‘yeah right, Old Man! Forget chu!’
‘Cause, I mean, for reals, going bare ass in your own home is one of the Great Pleasures in life.
I mean bare foot! Foot! Bare foot! Who said anything about nekkid? Prank caller! Prank caller!
Smirnoff has actually been in my home-
Don’t worry, Gentle Reader, I was fully dressed-
But that’s how he knows my floors are too hard for bare feet, he’s caned his way across them himself.
He was there for the housewarming. Lé Assistant came too. I was thir-rilled you guys. Thrilled. Perm-grin all freaking over the place.
Even got to go over to a couple girlfriends and be like, “hey guys, you wanna meet Smirnoff? ‘Cause he’s right over there omg!”
So, anyway, he’s sitting by the wall of books, and he points over to my Bronislava Nijinska bio, and says, “Did you know that she lived in Los Angeles toward the end of her life? Yes, she had a school. I knew her then. She was very intelligent. Much harder worker than her brother, although he was the more famous.”
And I was like, ‘…the fuck? WHO ARE YOU, OLD MAN?!?!?!’
Seriously, he came into my house, picked out one of my favorite ballet books in the middle of a huge wall of books, and said, ‘Oh, Yeah, I knew her.’
Can only conclude that he is Batman.
Here is a link to one of my fave cartoons, but-
IT IS PORNOGRAPHIC!
Only click if you are okay with seeing cartoon characters do it! And you are an adult/have parental permission! I’m serious you guys! I am not playing!
It’s about Hipster Batman, and now anytime I see one of those houndstooth scarfy-things, especially on someone trying to look cool, and it’s like, really? You feel strongly about the politics related to that scarf? Or did it just looked cool at Urban Outfitters?, and I like to turn to Mr. Adult Beginner and shout, “I’m Hipster Batman!!!”
Here: Hipster Batman