Got some new tights.
Capezio Hold&Stretch transition tights in ballet pink, or BPK as they code it.
Got them because my old Capezio tights have finally and truly kicked the bucket: they have developed thin spots through the thigh which is UNACCEPTABLE. No sheerness is allowed in the thigh department in ballet class. No sheerness!
Pink tights reveal enough as it is.
And no, I’m not gonna cut a hole and wear them as a shirt. What am I, a hobo?
Anyway, the tights were really just a bonus, I was online ordering a mattress cover for the baby’s crib, and needed to spend a certain amount of more dollars to qualify for free shipping, so was like what the hell, lets get me some tights.
Was ordering a mattress cover because The Baby is still not sleeping well, like for example he only woke up three times last night. At 1, 1:30, and 2:15.
That was a really good night.
Night before that was 10, 12, 1, 2:30, and 5am. That was a rough night to cap off a rough week of rough nights.
It’s crazy, as evening slides into Baby Bedtime these days I feel like I’m going into battle, like I psyche myself up and review my strategies and assemble my weapons and sometimes I’m full of stupid optimism like Tonight’s Gonna Be The Night!!! and sometimes I just go full on nihilist like Why Even Bother Going To Sleep At All!!!!
The Baby has slept through the night exactly twice since I moved him into his own room two months ago.
I don’t know what magical combination of factors resulted in those two nights.
But I’m looking for patterns and signs in everything. I’m full of superstition. Like, maybe he slept well because he was wearing these particular pajamas, maybe they are Magic! Or maybe it was because we walked east at sunset instead of west, or maybe because I touched the doorknob three times and then turned in a circle before I left his room. While wearing yellow. Who knows!
Bought a moisturizer solely on the basis of it having the word anti-fatigue on the jar. Bought some tea just because it says Well Rested. Looked at the box and thought, well, Tea, at least one of us outta be.
And I keep thinking I can outsmart the not-sleeping, if I just find the exact right nighttime routine or method or product or whatever, which is why I was online ordering a mattress pad, because it ocurred to me that he’s been sleeping on just a thin sheet over a plastic coated crib mattress this whole time, and that’s gotta be uncomfortable, but the crazy thing is almost all the crib mattress pads available are also waterproof, and, like, why would I want a waterproof pad on top of a waterproof mattress, and then I start thinking about cribs in general and Conspiracy Theorist me comes out and gets all angry with the furniture industry for pushing cribs in the first place, ’cause what would really be smart is if there was just a twin bed in the baby’s room, like with a rail so he won’t roll out, because eventually he’ll need a real bed and in the meantime there have been many nights where I’ve given the crib the exhausted side-eye while considering whether I could just get in there with him instead of sitting back down in that chair I was just in an hour earlier and would likely be in again in another couple hours.
And then in the morning after a wakeful night it feels almost like we’ve had an argument, like we’re quiet and polite with each other.
After the other night, the one with the five wake-ups, my husband pointed out that I can lay around all I want during the day, and I’m super lucky to be able to do that, but I don’t want to! I don’t want to sleep in the day! I got chickens doing port de bras to draw!
I am getting a nightly ballet practice in though, like this:
I’ve just put the baby in his crib, he’s asleep, it 2 or 3 or whatever a.m., and I’m slowly, quietly, toe-heel toe-heel ballet-walking down the hall back to dreamland.
Alright that’s enough crazy ranting for now, I’mma go make a gallon of Well Rested tea.
it’s been a few days now, and the sleep is going much better. For the moment. Maybe all that needed to happen this whole time was a post holding The Baby accountable to the Internet?