Ok, so I’m standing at the trailhead at my new favorite place to go walking- Coldwater Canyon Park- just drinking water and thinking about which trail to take next, and I hear, “Hey! Hey! How far along are you!”
And I’m thinking Oh for fucks sake, some busybody know-it-all is about to get all up in my grillpiece about how I shouldn’t be out here hiking in my delicate condition, and I turn and look and No, Gentle Reader, it is not some busybody,
It is twins.
Coming right at me!
They’re about my age and seriously identical, like right down to their big-like-Paris sunglasses, and they both lay into me with a million questions rapid-fired In The Same Voice all about my pregnant fitness habits.
“Oh my god, you’re adorable. Do you work out? You work out right? Are you at the gym every day? How many calories do you eat every day? You don’t know?! Look at you, you are just all baby, do you do yoga? Do you eat meat? I’m pregnant too, are you tired all the time I’m tired all the time! I’d better start walking every day too. And what about blah blah blah blah blah?!”
And, Gentle Reader, I gotta tell ya, there are few things as surreal as being interrogated/complimented by strangers with the same face and voice, while standing in this amazingly quiet leafy wilderness with hawks soaring overhead and these brilliant blue birds I’ve never even seen before rustling around in the underbrush, all in the middle of one of the biggest, loudest, glitziest, dirtiest cities in the whole country.
The surreal-est part of my Thursday, fer sure.
Plus it totally cheered me up because I’d just been that morning to see the midwives, and all news was good news except that I’d gained a surprising amount of weight in the past couple weeks, and, like, I was feeling kinda down about the weight, and kinda not in control of it,
See it went like this:
At week 35 the midwives gave me a talking to about how this is the point when a lot of women just give up. Like, they’re hot, they’re tired, they’re huge, and they’ve been so good for so long about eating the right food and not eating sweets and exercising every day and they just say fuck it, I’m over it, I’m eating this entire pack of M&Ms and washing it down with a milkshake, I’ve earned it.
And how, like, that’s not a good thing because although you may have earned it, the weight is basically going on the baby at this point, and the goal is to not have a huge baby because, like, it’s still up to you to push the baby out.
And I was totally on board, like Yes, Stay On The Path Of Righteousness, Do Not Wash Down M&Ms With Milkshakes.
So they weighed me and I was at 29 pounds total gained since the start of the pregnancy. Fine. They said I could have another two to four pounds.
Week 36 they weight me, still at 29 pounds total gain. Great.
Week 37 they didn’t weigh me. Instead of me going to their office where the scale is, they came to my house to visit and make sure we have, like, electricity and running water. Which we do.
Week 38 back at the office, they weigh me. 33 pounds total gain. Four pounds in two weeks. WTF.
They mention that part again about how it’s up to me and only me to push the baby out.
Which is kinda like Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires but, you know, worse.
And I’m like, “But Dudes! I didn’t do anything different! I have no idea why I gained this weight! Or how to not gain more! Whuh happen?”
And it got me thinking about food and how I had assumed eating while pregnant would be way easier that eating during non-pregnant timez. Like, instead of visions of pink tights and mirrored walls coloring all my food decisions, pregnancy would be all fluffy shirts and ice cream on the daily.
And it’s not!
It is all no refined sugar and making sure I get some protein every time I eat and actually feeling slightly worried instead of thrilled when people tell me I look small.
It’s all eating a real breakfast plus vitamins instead of running out the door with coffee.
It’s all suddenly realizing how much pastry and coffee my favorite style blogs feature all the time. Like, oh look, she’s having a mocha with cinnamon and a rainbow of beautiful pastel macaroons again, is she trying to kill me?
This is week 39. I’ll be curious to see what the scale says, but I think I’m not gonna worry about it too much.
I’m still eating better now than the entire rest of my adult life, and Twin Strangers think I look cute, so there.
Hi hi emailadultbeginner at gmail dot com
- My Tweets
Like Totally Popular Posts & Pages
- Give-Away is here! The Modern Classic Top + Tunic by gwenyth for Two Lucky Winners
- It's not you AB, it's the non-disclosure.
- Finding a ballet class in Los Angeles
- adult ballet classes in LA
- First Class Stories
- On focus and the wiggle-bottoms
- A First Ballet Class story from a male adult beginner
- linky links
- Ok but am I gonna *look* like a ballerina?
- A post involving pointe and stupid Titanic
Look Here, You
break it down
- Ballerina Class, and other pointe-y stuff (50)
- Bark! Bark! Bark! (76)
- Books! (41)
- ce n'est pas une mom blog (62)
- DIY (19)
- Drawings of great sillitude (79)
- Guest Post yo! And interviews, yo! (18)
- Movies, tv, and live stuff (35)
- OMG outfits you guys! (134)
- reviews (7)
- Technique and Class (127)
- the Body (70)
- the stuff drawer (123)
- Word Nerd (13)
- You Asked for it (18)
Send a merde card, it’s good luck. (Click image for a fun trip to the store)
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010