Dork.

Once upon a time the Adult Beginner was not quite yet an adult, and many many years off from becoming a beginner.
The Adult Beginner was going to go to this fancy private college! For Science!
But then there was that one really sucky conversation about how there was no money and I was going to have to go to the nearby state university instead.
Which was so not cool because the nearby state university was way way too nearby and the pre-Adult Beginner wanted to have a college adventure somewhere less familiar.
Which was when, in a heroic effort to cheer me up, my best friend invented the awesomest game, entitled: Your College Boyfriend!
Here’s how to play: throw your mopey friend in the car, drive through campus on the way to that really cool café/used bookstore, point out the window at every cute college guy you see while yelling, Look! Over there! It’s your College Boyfriend!!!!!
Your mopey friend will probably cheer up and start to get excited about college. Worked for me.
Anyway, we got to that really cool café/ used bookstore, and I went to the counter. Ordered. Paid. Glanced down at the ticket. Saw a brief description the waitress had written to help her deliver silly cucumber sandwiches to the correct person.
“Dork. Purple T-shirt.”
Thought, ‘oh. Wow. She doesn’t even know me and she can tell.’
Took a second glance at the ticket and saw that it actually read:
“Dark Purple T-shirt.”
Oh!
Wow.
Jeez.
Felt relieved that my cover was still intact and strangers were not actually peering right into my very (dorky) soul, but at the same time maybe a little bummed? Like maybe I had a moment of freedom there?
But mostly relived. It is important to have your coolness firmly intact while gearing up for your way-to-close-to-home college adventure.
Thought about this recently while in ballet class.
I’ve found that it’s important to go ahead and let yourself be as uncool as possible in ballet class. Important to be clear that I know nothing! I’m full of uncool enthusiasm! My outfit is all wrong! I need help! Big dorky smile! Mark everything! Study vocabulary outside of class! Read history!
Embrace my inner purple t-shirted dork!

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