Me: Doing a thing. Trying to do a really good job because-
Sazerac: watching like a hawk because-
Everyone else: Absent
Sazerac: You’re blinking too much.
Me: I’m, um, what?
Sazerac: You’re blinking too much. Your head is meant to follow your gaze in a smooth motion, from the left corner to the right and back again. Like a pendulum. But you blink every time your head comes to center. That’s throwing off your balance. Try not to blink.
Me (externally): oh. Ok.
Me (internally): Are you fucking kidding me?! I have to be aware of my eyes?! While I’m concentrating on tail under, legs turned out, knees straight, toes pointed, heels forward, ribs not just up but in, abs zipped, chest lifted and forward, shoulders down but not back, chin level, arms level, wrist rounded, hands beautiful, meanwhile leg moves out and in either with the head or oppsite, depending, you’re telling me to add No Blinking???!!!!
Is there anything else???!!!
I mean, how about my hair?! Is my hairdo ok????!!!!