There’s no hat in the world big enough for this head.

The other day I got back from ballet class,
But not my regular ballet class, it was one of the classes I went to for review purposes a while back and decided to go back to,
(reviews here)
And my husband was like, “How was class?” and I was like, “Dude! There were less people there this time than there were before I reviewed it! Less!” and he was kind of not getting it so I was like, “I thought maybe the class would get a bump! From the review!” and he was like, “Uh, you need to settle the fuck down?” and I was like, “I knoooooow! Such a dork! I was all excited like maybe the class would be packed out with a line around the block because of My Words! That came out of my big fat big head! I do need to settle the fuck down! I mean, I didn’t expect it exactly but I thought maybe? Sheesh. Such a dork. But, uh, yeah, other than that class was good.”
The power of words, Gentle Reader! Reducing ballet class size, one review at a time! I’m off to buy a new hat!

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Announcing the 2 Winners of the Modern Classic Top+Tunic by gwenyth in ballet pink

And the gwenyth Modern Classic in ballet pink goes to……

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Comments 74 and 31!
That’s Jen, who said,

I love mustard yellow! It’s a warm, fiesty colour that reminds me of picnics and hot dogs and preparing food in the kitchen with family and friends. It’s also a colour that I feel I can wear in any season – I have a mustard body suit that I wear with skirts in spring and summer, and a big fluffy mustard yellow scarf that I wear in autumn and winter. Would love it if gwyneth made leotards in a mustard yellow!

And Natalie, who said,

Red. Whether it’s lipstick, dresses, roses or power rangers, the red ones are always best.

Hooray Feisty Jen and Best Natalie! gwenyth will contact you soonly via email to get you all set up.
Meanwhile, a huge thank you to gwenyth for allowing me the pleasure of playing hostess to this giveaway, and a huge thank you to everyone who entered.
Seriously you guys, poetry.
My mighty heart is breaking.
Here. All the color talk was so fascinating that I made you this chart:

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Note the usage of pink in that last bar to represent brown. There was no brown in this particular app. How is that even possible? And only that one magenta shade of pink??
Yeah, this particular app is not meant to be used for arty type stuff, but still, How. Just how.
Also, while looking up random number generators, I came across a wordpress plugin specifically for hosting give-aways, that will go through all the comments for you and if it finds any that are multiple comments from the same email, it gives you two options.
Option 1, the Tsk Tsk, will allow one comment and delete any further comments from that particular email account, so that person remains entered but just once as per the rules.
Option 2, the Oh Hell No nuclear option, deletes all comments from the offending email, so they are out of the give-away all together.
Fascinating!
The machinations involved!
Some people blog Hard I guess?

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Progress and the Importance of Clothing

The progress on baby ballet:
This time, instead of crying in the doorway and flinging himself down on the floor (oh dramaaaaaaz) he spent his second ballet class standing right beside the teacher and staring with an expression of total omg/wtf.
Progress!
The importance of clothes:
I really like that the ballet teacher, Miss Posie, wears ballet clothes. She could wear just about any old work-out clothes to teach this mess, but she totally does it up right in leotard, tights, skirt, leg warmers, slippers, and cute sweater.
Her uniform gives a sense that what all these roly-poly little kids are doing is legit. Good for the kids, good for the parents. Good for her too, I’m sure. Legitimacy probably not easy to establish in a class that involves I’m A Little Teapot.

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His first ballet class

Just to be ridiculous AND AWESOME I am reviewing my baby’s first ballet class in the style of the adult ballet class reviews I’ve been doing with Ronda Jamb, which you can see right here.
Here goes:

Review By Me, Adult Beginner, duh, he’s my baby.
Class Is Called Mommy And Me Ballet
Where Totally not telling because my baby goes there.
How It Is
Right. Before you get all, “Dang AB, vicarious much?” I’ll go ahead and reassure you: I signed him up mainly so he can experience taking direction from someone other than me. Not so he can grow up to be the man-dancer I never was, ok???
Up until now he hasn’t been old enough for any classes at all, but at age two the world opens up and he can now take Two Whole Classes. That is so much more than no classes at all!!! Interestingly, ballet starts at age two, karate not until three. Hmm. Swimming at six months though, we did some of that this summer. He got his guppy certificate. Anyway. I’ve also started taking him to Parent And Me Cooking Fun, which is really more like Parent And Me Food Assembly as they don’t provide live flame or knives. Just A Lot of peanut butter. Did you know that stuff makes delicious glue?
Also interesting: only moms go to ballet class with kids? Hey dance studios of the world, don’tcha wanna maybe change that to Non-Gender-Specific-Parent&Me Ballet class?
I was really curious about how much “Mommy” would be involved in Mommy And Me Ballet, and also how much “ballet”. The answers are: none, and not much.
All mom types sit on a bench at the back while the kids take class. I was surprised! Figured there was a strong possibility we’d all be circling up and pointing our toes or something! But no, moms sit, and I think this is really a good thing because see previous: opportunity for kid to take direction from someone other than Mama.
My involvement was way more involve-y though, as it involved coaxing my crying boy into the scary scary studio, where the scary teacher and all the little scary girls were listening to scary music and playing scary games.
This was mostly hilarious. Teacher was unfazed, little girls barely noticed.
Eventually he sat on my lap, then sat in front of me, then stood, and by the end of class he was actually in the group, following along, which kind of made my heart explode with love. (“He’s so brave! Wahhhhh!”)
Other moms assured me that this is how the boys always are in this class. Ballet So Scary, you guyzzzz.
They did a foot warm-up, and kind of a lets-all-remind-ourselves-about-the-names-and-locations-of-our-body-parts warm-up, and then moved along into a bunch of neat games. My favorite was the Everybody Line Up game, and then the One By One Jump Over That Toy game. The youngest kids in the class (such as mine) would run at the toy and then plow right through it instead of jumping over. Totally hilarious, but also impressive that they ran at the correct time and in the correct direction.
Barre not used at all. Only one ballet term used during the class —chassé— which is cool because I was already impressed about the lining up and the running, no need to add the French.
Class Size six or so
Age Range 2-4
What To Wear I puzzled over this! Ended up wearing something that looked like normal clothes but could keep me covered in the event of a plié. Now that I have been there I know mamas can wear whatever the hell they want, students can wear anything stretchy including leotards with little attached skirts, dresses with shorts, t-shirt and leggings, kinda also whatever the hell, except that all the little girls had slippers and my kid was bare-foot, so I guess we’ll work on that.
Any Dudes? Just mine.
In Conclusion The other moms were delighted when mine started dangling from the barre partway through class. Apparently that’s a boy thing. Girls, why? Doesn’t that look like fun? I totes want to hang from the barre now.
This was totally fun. We will go again, hopefully with less crying.

Posted in ce n'est pas une mom blog, reviews | Tagged , , , , , | 20 Comments

Give-Away is here! The Modern Classic Top + Tunic by gwenyth for Two Lucky Winners

*Give Away now closed! Stay tuned for 2 winners to be announced in a post Monday*

I’m extra delighted to present to you:
The chance for two, Two, TWO WINNERS to receive a Modern Classic Top + Tunic from gwenyth, in ballet pink!

There is such a hilarious range of possibility of color when we say “ballet pink”, so let’s get specific:

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Here for color reference, on the left we have the Benjamin Moore Classic Colors paint swatch book, with somewhere between 1261 Paisley Pink and 1262 Paris Romance as a sweet match.
Don’t you love the names paint companies give colors? I do.
And on the right we have my vintage 1963 Pantone color book. So just, like, whip out your own vintage ’63 Pantone book and see that chip 510 is pretty close. As you can see from the color breakdown, there is quite a bit of white in this pink, and it’s blue based. Aw yeah, Pantone Matching System.

gwenyth describes ballet pink as,

Precisely the shade of that leotard you wore to your first ballet class, Ballet Pink is the stylish, grown-up version of a casual daily uniform for that prima ballerina in all of us.

Fired up? Great, let’s win this.
To win: please leave a brief comment below describing a color that has a special meaning for you.
Some examples:
Grey, like her eyes.
Or, Chartreuse, the first color I ever hated and then loved.
Or, keeping in the world of pink: Sweet&Low Pink, for the little white bowl full of little pink packets on my grandma’s kitchen table. Always thought it was so glamorous that she had those, just like restaurants do.
Dude, we are gonna get some poetry outta this thing, I’m excited!
Also, Man-dudes, don’t be afraid to enter, I bet you know a lady who could rock this.
Comments open starting now until Midnight on Friday October 24, after which I will select two(!) winners at random
That’s midnight my time here in Los Angeles, Pacific Time Zone.
One entry per email.
This give-away open to entries from anywhere in the world.
The two winners will be announced in a post Monday October 27.
Share with your friends, maybe they’ll win and give you a high-five. Or maybe you’ll win and they’ll be excited for you.

Here is a link to the gwenyth website, where you can check out the Modern Classic and all its special details, plus admire how luscious the ballet pink looks on a pretty redhead, and here is a link to a post of mine where you can check out how luscious the ballet pink looks on a cockatiel-head.

Big thank you to gwenyth for the generous give-away, I’m so pleased to be hosting Ballet Pink!

*Give Away now closed thank you thank you*

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Speaking of pink things,

Why do I have so much hem lace? Need to come up with a project involving hems. Maybe some kind of street-art project, something like yarn-bombing but more intrusive.

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All of this hem lace was pink before I turned the color up to eleven, just trust.
We were taking about pink things though, weren’t we? Oh right, Mysterious Upcoming Give-Away! Stay Tuned…

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We are a-mused.

A give-away will be coming soon to a blogpost near you.
Stay tuned for exciting updates, involving details such as what mysterious prize is yours for the winning, and how one might go about winning this mysterious mystery.
So mysterious.
In the meantime, oh, la la la, let’s just, Hey! Look what’s this? Adult Beginner is a gwenyth muse, whut?
Proud to be the only bird-headed one.
SO FAR.

Posted in Guest Post yo! And interviews, yo!, OMG outfits you guys! | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment