Double Down

Did a double pirouette the other day!
Couple of them!
It went like this:
Before class Smirnoff was all, “My Dear! How are you!” and I was all, “Allergies! Not very good!” and he was all, “Are you dizzy!” and I was all, “No, just feeling kinda bleh in the head!” and he was like, “Ok! Let’s get to work!”
So then we were doing the barre pirouettes, which, like, sometimes I can kinda nail and sometimes I end up catching the barre in order to not fall over and never know which it’s going to be ahead of time, and sometimes Smirnoff calls out things at the last moment to each of us to focus on and this time he called out, “Look to your hand and follow it! Don’t let it go alone!” so I looked at my hand in preparation and then followed it and then noticed that the barre had just gone by a second time and grabbed for it out of surprise. And was like, “woah.” and then did it again, meanwhile Smirnoff is calling, “Don’t grab for the barre! Keep going!”
And then he stopped the music and had me do another while everybody watched and he called out, “You see? You are turning consistently now! When your allergies are gone, you will do triples!”
And I was like, “um, yeah, about that…”

Come Down on purpose

Sometimes while trying to hold a balance, I remember my very first ballet teacher, Sazerac- who I got to have just a few months of class with before she chasséd right outta town and I stumbled into Smirnoff’s class via google map search-
I remember she included a lot of Moments For Balance into her barre (which at my level at that time were on both feet in a relevé fifth and were super difficult, ok?) and remember her always telling us to come down out of the balance on purpose.
Like, telling us to feel when we’re just about to wobble out, and instead of keeling over, just come down gracefully and intentionally with un-hurried arms and a little plié.
And I really like that idea:
Like the “yeah, I meant to do that” feeling of it.
The, “yeah, I know there are six more counts of music for this balance. Whatever. I’m coming down now Totally On Purpose.”
Also like the idea of feeling when you’re about to fall but haven’t fallen yet and can still control your next move.
Feel like this relates to Real Life in some way but I’m too sleepy now.

Adult Beginner is Two

And since Adult Beginner is now two years old, I would like to say:
No!
Ok but for realz, here are some celebratory plastic ballerinas!!!!!
Yayyyy!
We have no cake in the house so instead they are arabesque-ing atop fresh bread. Yay!!!!

Also in honor of being two, I’d like to highlight my Least Viewed Post Of All Time, according to WordPress statistics.
Bam!
That’s alright though, you knew about it before it was all popular and stuff, right Gentle Reader?
And just because it confuses me on the daily, my Most Viewed Post Of All Time:
Ba-Zam! (srsly though, I have no idea why this one gets all the views. Far as I can tell no other websites link to it, and none of the search engine terms seem like they would lead to it. Qu’el Mystery!!!!!)
Allright, I’m off to enjoy life two-year-old style. Maybe a tantrum first, that sounds fun.

Er, whuh?

So, we’re doing the barre,
(and Not using the new iPod yet grumble grumble)
when Smirnoff presses stop and launches into this long, complicated sounding correction, in Russian, because that’s how he likes to do, he likes to speak everyone’s own language as much as he can, so he’s making gestures, and the correctionee is nodding and trying things,
And just as I’m thinking, Dang! Wish he was giving this correction in English, sounds like a good one!, he turns to the rest of the class and says, “And that goes for the rest of you, too!”

Laundry Day Rainbows

You’re doing it wrong

Ok so you know how the Adult Beginner works as a pattern-maker, right?
And it can be kind of a stressful job, right?
There are scary deadlines, there are generally way too many cooks in the kitchen (actor, designer, director, producer, all have opinions, not usually the agreeing kind), sometimes the people in charge don’t know what they want until they’ve seen you produce something the decide they defo don’t want, the work itself is hyper-detail oriented, there are lots of people to supervise, there are language barriers, there are middle-school levels of clique-i-ness amongst the stitchers, you stand all day and your feet get tired, the hours can be long and it’s easy to eat too much, never exercise, never socialize, loose the passion that got you into the job in the first place, and become old, crankified, and bitter.
Right?
This is probably true for many jobs.
It’s the Adult Beginner’s opinion that the best way to avoid becoming old, crankified, and bitter is to have some kind of outside passion. Something that keeps your brain engaged, gets you excited, and motivates you to fucking clock out and leave work at a Decent Hour every once in a while.
If this outside passion has a social element, more better!
Anyway, been thinking about this recently because I worked for a long long time for a boss who had managed to take on at least three or four different jobs within the costume shop. Shop Manager, Head Pattern-Maker, Drummer-Up of New Business, Head Fitter…probably more things I’m not even aware of, but the point is: this boss opens the shop super-early every morning, works like crazy non-stop all day, closes the shop at very least twelve hours later every night, often works weekends, misses meals, survives on stress.
If anyone needs an outside passion, it’s this boss. Who we’ll call Short Boss.
Oddly, Short Boss actually does have an outside passion.
And I often want to pick Short Boss up and shake-shake-shake and yell, “You’re doing it wrong!!!!”
See, ’cause Short Boss’s big passion is deep-sea diving. Something you definitely can’t just pop out and do on a Wednesday evening. It’s a passion that’s impossible for Short Boss to enjoy more than once a year. And that once a year is not nearly enough to combat the entire rest of the stressful year!
It drives me nuts!
Like, (shakeshakeshake) Take Care Of Yourself, Short Boss!
So anyway, not too long ago I was working at a different shop with a different boss, who we’ll call Tall Boss, who one day was all like, “Allright folks, when do you all hit eight hours? Good, we’re outta here by 5:30 tonight, I got bowling to get to.”
And I was like, (huge smile) “you’re in a league?!”
And Tall Boss was like, “Yeah, why, you like bowling?”
And I was like, “god no, I’m just really really glad to hear you’ve got something going on outside the shop!”
And Tall Boss was like, “Yeah, actually, that was part of why I joined. It would be really easy to just, like, let the shop take over my entire life and spend all my time here, and I realized I needed to do something to make that not happen. I mean plus I like bowling. And I like my team.”
And I was like, “Yay!!!!!”
And Tall Boss was like, “You’re silly. I’m glad that makes you happy.”
So anyway, now I’m working for Short Boss again-
Which is another one of the stressful things about the job: lay-offs are a regular thing-
And Short Boss rushes over to my table one afternoon and says, “can you work late tonight and tomorrow?”
And, see, usually with Short Boss this question is just a courtesy. It really means, ‘I need you to stay late tonight and tomorrow.’
But this time I’m like, “Tonight? Sure. But not tomorrow. I have my Mental Health Class tomorrow. My ballet class.”
Can’t really argue with Mental Health Class.
So, you know, I came in earlier the next day, because I don’t want to leave Short Boss hanging, but had my dance bag in the car and clocked out with plenty of time to get to class.
Because I don’t want to leave myself hanging either.

Things you learn when there’s a man in class

Men don’t do pas piqué turns.
At least, in Ballet According To Smirnoff they don’t.
Gentle Reader, are you a man? Do you do pas piqué turns?

Also, back in Smirnoff’s day men did not raise their legs above ninety degrees in extension nor did they rise up high onto the balls of their feet. Low half-toe only! Smirnoff is aware that Things Are Different In Ballet Nowadays, at least in the extension and relevé department, and he seems to respect if not fully agree with that.

The Worst Thing A Man Can Do: is copy the ladies reverénce.
While we’re all doing the deep, stylized curtsy, Smirnoff likes to halt any men in the class before they commit The Ultimate Crime, and instead leads them in the very reserved but manly head-bop.
Also, men mustn’t put their hand to their stomach during the reverénce as though they have a cramp.
Mustn’t!

Incidentally, I just googled ‘curtsy’ to make sure I was spelling it correctly, and discovered that 1) I totally was Not spelling it correctly, and 2) there is an interesting Wikipedia page about the history and origins of the curtsy, including its use in ballet and an awesome sounding modern extrapolation called The Texas Dip.